I recently read a quote- and I don’t remember where, blog/insta/photo caption…who knows! But what the quote disparaged was people who use two spaces after a period instead of one. Wait, what?! That’s a thing to make fun of? I didn’t even know one space was a thing. Ever since learning to type, commas have had one space, periods two. The Atlantic even has an article covering the controversy. Ok, wait, let me read it…hmmm, it seems to imply that everyone is a winner but by the end, the reader can clearly tell the one-spacers are the 1% of intellectual superiority. The author likens people who use two spaces to people who still have their smartphone keyboard sound effects turned on. Rude! Everyone knows that people who have their keyboard sound effects are people who can barely handle the technology of zipping up their pants in the morning, let alone modifications to their smartphone. I am not one of those people (checks pants zipper…ha, ha, I kid. I’m wearing scrub pants).
I am also worried about becoming a bird lady weirdo. Let it be known, my parents did NOT set me up for success on this one. As the birds’ baby-sitter, I have to deal with the fact that there are four birds (which seems excessive to some) AND that they are named after me and my siblings. Fortunately, there’s not much of a competition in the smarts category since these birds are pret-ty dumb. They are, however, very cute. The cutest one is (naturally?) the one named after me. She is also, however, the biggest pig and first to the food. Let’s not talk too much about that factoid.
But I am showing off smartphone pictures of the birds. I know! How can I not, though, when I successfully get all four of them to eat out of my hand at once? It is amazing. Forget my jerk of a co-worker who, upon seeing this marvel said, “What?! Who cares. It’s the trick birds are supposed to do. My dog can do lots of tricks but birds? This is it. This is what you do with birds. Buy birds. Day 1, feed them out of your hand. Day 2, give them away.”
I also put together their wooden playground, which I found very difficult. Although my Mom (my real Mom, I don’t have a bird Mom) said that it was easy and that I should pour myself a glass of wine and do it. Well, I drank a cup of coffee and watched a YouTube video. Some of the supports are a little tilted but the birds like it. How do I know? Because it’s their new favorite pooping spot.
Portmanteau Suitcase 
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